


Hero Burger

by schwertlilie



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Food, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-23
Updated: 2010-08-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 05:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwertlilie/pseuds/schwertlilie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While lounging in their hotel room, Alfred explains his latest plan for world peace to Matthew. Inspired by the character song "Hamburger Street."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hero Burger

Matthew turned the page of the forestry report, his back against the headboard. He was leading the round-table on tree pests tomorrow, if anyone bothered to stick to the schedule, and he needed to review his government's beetle control policies in British Columbia.

Alfred was a welcome warmth against his leg, sprawled out on the bed and tapping at his keyboard. Meetings were always a little better when he could bunk with his boyfriend, push the beds together to make a "super-duper hero bed," as Alfred liked to call it. And Alfred was happy to be a distraction whenever Matthew tired of reading. (Or vice versa.)

But really, there were only so many reports on brown spruce longhorn beetles a body could read before their eyes began to cross. Alfred looked like he was focused on his presentation, and Matthew decided to try and hang on a little longer, even if Alfred was muttering under his breath about.. hamburgers?

... Getting food would be a good break, actually. "The usual?" he asked, dropping his papers on the far side of the bed.

"Huh?"

"A Big Mac and fries." At Alfred's blank stare, he continued. "You were talking about hamburgers."

He grinned. "Oh, that's my presentation!" He propped himself up on his elbows. "If everyone would realise how the world is like a hamburger, we could achieve world peace."

Matthew raised an eyebrow.

"No, really! Just like a burger, all us nations are part of the world. But if we all try and do our own thing, all we are is bits and pieces of toppings and condiments and ground beef. We need to work _together_ to be awesome like a Baconator. Even though we're just hamburgers."

"So who's what part?"

"I'm the patty, 'cause what's a burger without an awesome centre?" At Matt's nod, Alfred continued. "Arthur is the pickles, since they make you pucker up and look like a sour old man. The former soviets are ketchup, since they used to be red. Spain's the pulpy part of the tomato, and the Italies the skin. France is the mustard, since he's yellow. Japan is mayonnaise, since he likes it so much. Africa is the sesame seeds."

"Africa's not a country."

"No no, _each_ African country is a sesame seed."

"... You're almost making sense."

"Of course I make sense, I'm using awesome logic." He crawled up the bed until he was kneeling over Matt, his hands and knees making indents in the mattress. "Want to hear what you are?"

Matthew nodded.

"Relish. People forget about relish, but the burger just isn't the same without it."

Oh god, his cheeks were heating up. "Alfred F. Jones, are you trying to use a simile to get laid?"

"Nope, 'cause I'd be getting laid either way."

"Cocky."

Then Alfred was kissing him, long and slow. Matthew cupped the back of Alfred's head, pulled him closer while his free hand tangled their fingers together. When they parted Alfred was grinning again, but his ears were red and Matt counted it as a victory.

"Heroes always get laid. Just as soon as they finish their presentations."

He scritched Alfred's scalp. "And assuming their boyfriend doesn't fall asleep first," he teased.

"Mission accepted." He kissed Matt's cheek, scooted backwards; Matthew let him go. "I won't be long, promise."

Matthew waited until Al had settled back down on the bed, then grabbed his report and laid himself cross-wise, so that his head rested on the small of his boyfriend's back. "Relish goes on top of the burger," he murmured as he found his page.

Alfred chuckled, his fingers making tap-tap noises on his keyboard. "Not tonight."


End file.
